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137 VENTURES RAISES $700M ON ONE SUCCESSFUL BETAI LABS MASTER THE SIX-MONTH THRONE: A STUDY IN IMPERMANENCEAI STARTUPS ANNOUNCE EXCITING 12-MONTH EXPIRATION DATESAI STARTUPS: BUILT FOR OBSOLESCENCE, FUNDED ANYWAYANTHROPIC DEMANDS $900B VALUATION DECISION IN 48 HOURSBALLMER ADMITS HE GOT DUPED: VENTURE'S GREATEST HITSBIG TECH DOUBLES DOWN ON LIFE-OR-DEATH DECISIONS, IGNORES WARNINGSBMO DEPLOYS QUANTUM COMPUTING TO SOLVE PROBLEM PHYSICS CANNOT137 VENTURES RAISES $700M ON ONE SUCCESSFUL BETAI LABS MASTER THE SIX-MONTH THRONE: A STUDY IN IMPERMANENCEAI STARTUPS ANNOUNCE EXCITING 12-MONTH EXPIRATION DATESAI STARTUPS: BUILT FOR OBSOLESCENCE, FUNDED ANYWAYANTHROPIC DEMANDS $900B VALUATION DECISION IN 48 HOURSBALLMER ADMITS HE GOT DUPED: VENTURE'S GREATEST HITSBIG TECH DOUBLES DOWN ON LIFE-OR-DEATH DECISIONS, IGNORES WARNINGSBMO DEPLOYS QUANTUM COMPUTING TO SOLVE PROBLEM PHYSICS CANNOT
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
www.dumbcapital.com
North American VC & M&A News — Unfiltered, Unimpressed, Unprofitable
North America Edition
Monday, May 4, 2026
Free (Like Your Equity)

About DumbCapital

DumbCapital is a satirical news publication covering venture capital and mergers & acquisitions in North America. We launched in April 2026 with a simple editorial philosophy: these markets have long deserved skepticism and have rarely received it.

We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. We believe that a company with no revenue probably should not be worth more than a hospital, and we intend to keep saying so.

What We Cover

Every Tuesday and Friday we scan the financial newswires and industry publications to find the week's most questionable VC funding rounds, M&A deals, private equity maneuvers, and unicorn valuations. We then write about them with the dry wit and forensic skepticism they deserve.

Our sections cover: VC Deals, M&A Morgue, PE Corner, Unicorn Watch, and Opinion.

Editorial Standards

All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported news. We link to original sources on every article. We do not invent deal terms, fabricate quotes, or misrepresent facts — we editorialize aggressively about real events.

Nothing published on DumbCapital constitutes financial, legal, or investment advice. If you are making investment decisions based on a website called DumbCapital, please reconsider.

Contact

Reach us at: our contact page. We read everything.

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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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