Advertisement
BUMBLE DISCOVERS DATING APPS BORING, CONSIDERS BECOMING SOMETHING ELSEBYRON ALLEN BUYS BUZZFEED, ANNOUNCES TURNAROUND NOBODY ASKED FORGOLDMAN ADMITS IT'S A FACTORY. PROMISES AI WON'T FIRE ANYONE.HARTZ RAISES $450M ON EVENTBRITE NOSTALGIA ALONEJUSHI HOLDINGS CELEBRATES 4% GROWTH LIKE IT DISCOVERED FUSIONSASKATOON STARTUP DISCOVERS FARMERS NEED AI TO UNDERSTAND THEIR OWN GRAINA16Z CRYPTO RAISES $2.2B WHILE EVERYONE ELSE RUNSARITZIA HITS 2027 GOALS EARLY, MARKET DECLARES RETAIL SOLVEDBUMBLE DISCOVERS DATING APPS BORING, CONSIDERS BECOMING SOMETHING ELSEBYRON ALLEN BUYS BUZZFEED, ANNOUNCES TURNAROUND NOBODY ASKED FORGOLDMAN ADMITS IT'S A FACTORY. PROMISES AI WON'T FIRE ANYONE.HARTZ RAISES $450M ON EVENTBRITE NOSTALGIA ALONEJUSHI HOLDINGS CELEBRATES 4% GROWTH LIKE IT DISCOVERED FUSIONSASKATOON STARTUP DISCOVERS FARMERS NEED AI TO UNDERSTAND THEIR OWN GRAINA16Z CRYPTO RAISES $2.2B WHILE EVERYONE ELSE RUNSARITZIA HITS 2027 GOALS EARLY, MARKET DECLARES RETAIL SOLVED
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
www.dumbcapital.com
North American VC & M&A News — Unfiltered, Unimpressed, Unprofitable
North America Edition
Thursday, May 14, 2026
Free (Like Your Equity)
← Back to M&A Morgue
★ M&A Morgue
Flop

POSaBIT Celebrates $2.5M EBITDA Like It's IPO Day

Cannabis POS company declares victory on fictional AI expansion while pretending profitability on loose accounting standards.

POSaBIT Systems—the Canadian cannabis point-of-sale company that the market had largely forgotten—is back with news that should terrify any institutional investor with a functioning spreadsheet. The firm claims $2.5M in "positive adjusted EBITDA" and a newly launched "AI-driven brand offering" that magically expanded its addressable market by 100%. Adjusted EBITDA, of course, is what you get when you subtract all the expenses that make you uncomfortable from actual EBITDA. It's accounting as creative fiction.

The company's 76% year-over-year increase in cash on-hand sounds impressive until you realize it's being used to fund a "market expansion" that amounts to bolting the word "AI" onto existing services. This is the financial equivalent of a restaurant claiming it doubled its addressable market by adding "gluten-free" to the menu. The cannabis POS space is already crowded, margins are thin, and the regulatory environment shifts monthly. POSaBIT's salvation is supposed to be unproven technology that every other fintech company on Earth is also claiming will revolutionize their vertical.

Note the press release language: "leading provider." Leading in what, exactly? Revenue? Profitability? Market share? The document doesn't specify—because none of these are true. What POSaBIT is leading in is the time-honored tradition of Canadian microcaps using "adjusted" metrics and buzzwords to convince retail investors that runway still exists when the runway is clearly ending.

The real tragedy is that $2.5M in adjusted EBITDA used to be cause for celebration. Now it's just another dying company buying itself time with optimistic press releases and fictional AI pivots. POSaBIT's cash burn will tell the real story soon enough.

💀💀💀💀  Dumb Rating: 4/5 — Adjusted Reality Syndrome
⚠ Satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported news. Not financial or legal advice.
★ From the Glossary
"Adjusted EBITDA"
Earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization—minus whatever numbers made the founder cry during the audit.
D

About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

About Us  ·  Contact  ·  Privacy Policy