French pharma giant acquires unproven MDM2 inhibitor in Phase III, frames expensive late-stage risk as pipeline 'strengthening.'
Read full article →With 12:01 a.m. Wednesday looming, dealmakers discover that strongly-worded statements do not, in fact, stop trade wars.
Read full article →Smith+Nephew partners with Imperial College to prove it can still move fast—via five-year committee structure.
Read full article →An oversubscribed fund with a mission statement so vague it could fund a meditation app or a quantum toaster.
Read full article →Three senior executives exit in a month as the company prepares to sell shareholders a story about 'retooling' instead of chaos.
Read full article →Payments processor discovers that branding a Formula E team is the fastest route to irrelevance.
Read full article →When your stock price is so low that even a reverse split can't save the optics, you know the AI story wasn't compelling enough.
Read full article →Appeals court refuses to dismiss thousands of cases arguing that engagement-maximization platforms are, in fact, designed to be addictive.
Read full article →Storage startup announces massive data center deal by deploying every buzzword in the press release simultaneously.
Read full article →MDA Space celebrates revenue jump while strategically omitting whether it's real, profitable, or dependent on government whim.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.