AI INFLUENCERS SOLVE BODY DIVERSITY BY CREATING BETTER BODIESALBERTA'S HOTTEST OIL PLAY GETS HOTTER THROUGH MERGER MATHALTMAN CALLS REGULATORS 'PRODUCTIVE' WHILE BUILDING UNREVIEWABLE AIALTMAN: THE ERA OF TALKING REALLY GOOD JUST ARRIVEDCANADA REBRANDS ITSELF AS 'STABLE PARTNER' TO POLAND, STRAIGHT-FACEDNTT DATA REBRANDS SPREADSHEETS AS 'AI PLATFORM,' CHARGES ENTERPRISE RATESNUCLEAR STARTUP RAISES $50M IN TWO MONTHS, PHYSICS PENDINGOPENAI CLAIMS MATH VICTORY, FORGETS TO CREDIT THE HOMEWORK
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
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Friday, September 11, 2026
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M&A Morgue

Mergers, acquisitions, and the synergies nobody can define. Deals that made sense in the boardroom.

Flop

Spirit Airlines Seeks White House Lifeline as Taxpayers Face the Descent

An airline so thoroughly broken it's now betting government intervention beats actually running an airline.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Socialism for Sardines
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Flop

POSaBIT Celebrates $2.5M EBITDA Like It's IPO Day

Cannabis POS company declares victory on fictional AI expansion while pretending profitability on loose accounting standards.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Adjusted Reality Syndrome
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Opinion

Trump Discovers 1920 Law Makes Better Oil Policy Than Diplomacy

Suspending a century-old maritime regulation to manage geopolitical crises is what happens when tariff tweaks become national security strategy.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Regulatory Duct Tape
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Flop

Trump Data Center Megaproject Loses CEO, Gains Metaphor

When your world's largest infrastructure play can't survive its own leadership, perhaps physics matters more than branding.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Vaporware With Velocity
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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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