CEO admits the novelty has worn off while publicly betting the company's future on a pivot only she understands.
Read full article →A* Capital's third fund proves that founding a unicorn corpse is sufficient credential to raise billions without demonstrating returns.
Read full article →When the clock starts ticking, fundament analysis stops thinking.
Read full article →Immigration crackdowns don't create jobs for U.S. workers—they just make founders angrier at policy.
Read full article →A VC firm leverages a single SpaceX investment into a blank check for growth-stage saturation.
Read full article →Nothing says 'confident market position' like artificial scarcity and artificial intelligence.
Read full article →When your fundraise moves faster than due diligence, investors should probably ask why.
Read full article →Claude's maker achieves unicorn status by competing against free ChatGPT while burning cash at venture-approved velocity.
Read full article →The company is asking investors to commit within 48 hours to a valuation that assumes profitability is merely a suggestion.
Read full article →The startup has discovered a revolutionary pricing strategy: charge based on what OpenAI's board meetings probably cost.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.