EliseAI's valuation doubled to $4B in twelve months with the transparency of a closed venture fund.
Read full article →Two former Googlers promise enterprises will actually pay for AI startups—a bold claim in a market drowning in unprofitable ones.
Read full article →Factory AI CEO mistakes career mobility for industrial espionage, proving that board seats don't immunize you from reality.
Read full article →MAVI emerges from stealth betting that AI will simultaneously kill and create demand for accountants—a strategy so circular it might actually work.
Read full article →A former Yahoo CEO has discovered that your camera roll contains infinite business value, provided you ignore how emails, texts, and actual behavioral data already exist.
Read full article →A VC firm has discovered that the fastest-growing technology grows fastest, and is now $5.75 billion richer for this insight.
Read full article →Nscale's pre-IPO convertible round proves that 'neocloud' is just a rebrand for the oldest, dumbest business model in tech.
Read full article →The firm that spent a decade telling kids college was obsolete now operates an academy—because the market finally called their bluff.
Read full article →Deep tech investors discover that photonic displays for data centers require neither customers nor revenue.
Read full article →A masterclass in selling abstraction: betting $1.6 billion on 'AGI infrastructure efficiency' without naming a single portfolio company.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.