Roo Capital and Grand Ventures bet $34 million that marketing-speak counts as product strategy.
Read full article →A data center operator raises $3.9 billion at a valuation that suggests the electricity bill is optional.
Read full article →Women's health startup secures Series B by convincing investors that vaginal data is the new oil.
Read full article →A $90 billion firm celebrates not putting all eggs in one basket, as if this were a novel insight rather than basic portfolio theory.
Read full article →VC firm discovers that owning D.C. United is apparently a better customer acquisition strategy than, say, having customers.
Read full article →A partner's casual use of 'allegedly' about their own expansion reveals everything about VC real estate optimism.
Read full article →Walking away from a signed term sheet is either a negotiating flex or evidence that founder judgment has left the building.
Read full article →OpenAI's CEO celebrates the return of founders with zero technical skills, because apparently that's what $200 billion in AI hype gets you.
Read full article →Bluecore Energy's $60M in total capital, raised before anyone knows what it actually builds, proves VCs will fund anything if the word 'nuclear' is involved.
Read full article →A debut fund with no track record backs an ill-defined market category that conveniently includes everything women have ever purchased.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.