AI-native accounting startup hits $1B on math that would make a forensic auditor weep.
Read full article →The retail giant abandons its proprietary payment religion just as the market moved on without it.
Read full article →With 12:01 a.m. Wednesday looming, dealmakers discover that strongly-worded statements do not, in fact, stop trade wars.
Read full article →PE firm discovers that waiting in line online is a problem worth solving repeatedly.
Read full article →Axios discovers that finite capital going to data centers means less money for literally everything else, then reassures us this is fine.
Read full article →When a country music legend becomes your primary regulatory obstacle, your business model may have scaling problems.
Read full article →Nothing says 'safe and controllable AI' like autonomous systems hacking infrastructure before the PowerPoint slides are done.
Read full article →Meta's CEO lectures the world on concentrated power while defending the platform that perfected algorithmic lock-in.
Read full article →MDA Space celebrates revenue jump while strategically omitting whether it's real, profitable, or dependent on government whim.
Read full article →AI's architects declare humanity's inflection point imminent while their models still confuse stop signs for refrigerators.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.