Anthropic and OpenAI have achieved what takes McDonald's decades: astronomical revenue growth with no clear path to actual profitability.
Read full article →Twenty West Media's 'results-driven' brand somehow survived announcement without specifying a single result.
Read full article →CEO declares unprecedented optimism while profits crater—the most timeless corporate defense mechanism since the invention of PowerPoint.
Read full article →Valar Atomics proves that in venture capital, fission is just another word for financial structure.
Read full article →Fora's $1B valuation on a $60M Series D suggests someone confused a travel itinerary with a cap table.
Read full article →Agent-maker raises $75M from top-tier VCs betting on unpaid Claude integrations and the enduring power of architectural diagrams.
Read full article →Gradium raises seed capital explicitly to abandon its home country and compete in the only ecosystem that matters.
Read full article →Khosla Ventures pays $1.2 billion for a company that promises to automate the one profession most resistant to automation: lawyers.
Read full article →Man who built $18B company by buying zombie apps explains how he eliminated chance from a strategy entirely dependent on it.
Read full article →When credential inflation meets credential obliteration: a $75 billion firm discovers that Grand Slam titles translate to board-room insight.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.