AI INFLUENCERS SOLVE BODY DIVERSITY BY CREATING BETTER BODIESALBERTA'S HOTTEST OIL PLAY GETS HOTTER THROUGH MERGER MATHALTMAN CALLS REGULATORS 'PRODUCTIVE' WHILE BUILDING UNREVIEWABLE AIALTMAN: THE ERA OF TALKING REALLY GOOD JUST ARRIVEDCANADA REBRANDS ITSELF AS 'STABLE PARTNER' TO POLAND, STRAIGHT-FACEDNTT DATA REBRANDS SPREADSHEETS AS 'AI PLATFORM,' CHARGES ENTERPRISE RATESNUCLEAR STARTUP RAISES $50M IN TWO MONTHS, PHYSICS PENDINGOPENAI CLAIMS MATH VICTORY, FORGETS TO CREDIT THE HOMEWORK
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
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Friday, September 11, 2026
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VC Deals

Venture capital funding rounds, startup valuations, and the eternal optimism of people spending other people's money.

VC

AI Startups Discover They're Just Waiting to Die

Founders openly admit their entire business model is a temporal buffer before the inevitable.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Self-Aware Zombies
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VC

Family Offices Skip VCs, Rush Directly Into AI Meat Grinder

Why pay a VC 2% to lose your money when you can do it yourself?

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Peak Greed Cycle
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VC

VCs Beg Anthropic for Privilege of Losing Money at $800B

The market's most desperate suitors keep getting rejected, and somehow this is being treated as good news.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Frothy and Delusional
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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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