CANADA DISCOVERS FACTORIES ARE ACTUALLY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCECEO WARNS OF AI APOCALYPSE, CONTINUES COLLECTING APOCALYPSE FUNDINGCOLLABORATIVE FUND BUYS SOCCER TEAM TO PITCH STARTUPSKHOSLA VENTURES ALLEGEDLY OPENING NEW YORK OFFICE, ALLEGEDLY THIS FALLLISTEN LABS DITCHES $1.5B ROUND FOR SALESFORCE'S MYSTERIOUS EMBRACELISTEN LABS DUMPS $1.5B CHECK TO CHAT WITH SALESFORCENYT SUES OPENAI; BOTH DISCOVER BUSINESS MODEL ACTUALLY NEEDS ONERESEARCHERS CASUALLY MENTION EXTINCTION, INTERNET LOSES MINDCANADA DISCOVERS FACTORIES ARE ACTUALLY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCECEO WARNS OF AI APOCALYPSE, CONTINUES COLLECTING APOCALYPSE FUNDINGCOLLABORATIVE FUND BUYS SOCCER TEAM TO PITCH STARTUPSKHOSLA VENTURES ALLEGEDLY OPENING NEW YORK OFFICE, ALLEGEDLY THIS FALLLISTEN LABS DITCHES $1.5B ROUND FOR SALESFORCE'S MYSTERIOUS EMBRACELISTEN LABS DUMPS $1.5B CHECK TO CHAT WITH SALESFORCENYT SUES OPENAI; BOTH DISCOVER BUSINESS MODEL ACTUALLY NEEDS ONERESEARCHERS CASUALLY MENTION EXTINCTION, INTERNET LOSES MIND
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
www.dumbcapital.com
North American VC & M&A News — Unfiltered, Unimpressed, Unprofitable
North America Edition
Sunday, September 13, 2026
Free (Like Your Equity)

Opinion

Commentary, analysis, and hot takes on the VC and M&A world. Someone has to say it.

VC

Kutcher Pivots From AI Labs to 'Infrastructure' (Crypto Adjacent)

Sound Ventures' concentrated bet strategy gives way to the graveyard of failed energy and infrastructure plays.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Strategically Repositioning Downward
Read full article →
Opinion

Fed Chair Warsh Discovers Power of Saying Absolutely Nothing

Markets have replaced price discovery with Kevin Warsh fan fiction.

💀💀💀  3/5 — Strategic Inscrutability
Read full article →
Opinion

Google's Climate Pivot: More Emissions, Same Messaging

The search giant races to build AI infrastructure while its environmental footprint hits record highs—a masterclass in having your carbon cake and eating it too.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Carbon Neutral Theater
Read full article →
Opinion

Tech Giants Discover Expensive Servers Cost Money, Pass Bill to You

Apple and Microsoft are raising hardware prices because training AI models is apparently someone else's problem to solve.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Passing The Tab
Read full article →
Opinion

U.S. Discovers China's AI Works Without American Blessing

Washington's alliance pitch crumbles as Beijing's cheap models prove usefulness trumps ideology.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Regulatory Motte-and-Bailey
Read full article →
VC

TechCrunch Asks Speeders How to Drive Slower

Two AI investors known for moving fast offer wisdom on moving fast, a genre of advice that has never once prevented anything.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Arsonist Fire Safety
Read full article →
Opinion

AI Labs Hire Consultants to Prove Nobody Actually Minds Data Centers

Milltown Partners discovers that opposition to massive power infrastructure is largely theoretical, announces this as victory.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Consultant Cope
Read full article →
VC

Sequoia VC: Real AI Winners Won't Sell AI (We'd Know)

A venture capitalist with billions riding on AI companies announces that actual winners won't be selling AI—presumably to someone else.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Recursively Self-Aware
Read full article →
Unicorn

Amazon Kills Anthropic's Model in Days. Peak VC Theater.

A billion-dollar AI company discovered Friday night that shipping products requires permission slips from people who don't use them.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Government-Grade Whack-a-Mole
Read full article →
Opinion

Musk Hits Trillion-Dollar Mark; Reality Still Loading

Axios celebrates a number so divorced from cash that even venture capital is blushing.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Pure Valuation Theater
Read full article →
D

About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

About Us  ·  Contact  ·  Privacy Policy