CANADA DISCOVERS FACTORIES ARE ACTUALLY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCECEO WARNS OF AI APOCALYPSE, CONTINUES COLLECTING APOCALYPSE FUNDINGCOLLABORATIVE FUND BUYS SOCCER TEAM TO PITCH STARTUPSKHOSLA VENTURES ALLEGEDLY OPENING NEW YORK OFFICE, ALLEGEDLY THIS FALLLISTEN LABS DITCHES $1.5B ROUND FOR SALESFORCE'S MYSTERIOUS EMBRACELISTEN LABS DUMPS $1.5B CHECK TO CHAT WITH SALESFORCENYT SUES OPENAI; BOTH DISCOVER BUSINESS MODEL ACTUALLY NEEDS ONERESEARCHERS CASUALLY MENTION EXTINCTION, INTERNET LOSES MINDCANADA DISCOVERS FACTORIES ARE ACTUALLY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCECEO WARNS OF AI APOCALYPSE, CONTINUES COLLECTING APOCALYPSE FUNDINGCOLLABORATIVE FUND BUYS SOCCER TEAM TO PITCH STARTUPSKHOSLA VENTURES ALLEGEDLY OPENING NEW YORK OFFICE, ALLEGEDLY THIS FALLLISTEN LABS DITCHES $1.5B ROUND FOR SALESFORCE'S MYSTERIOUS EMBRACELISTEN LABS DUMPS $1.5B CHECK TO CHAT WITH SALESFORCENYT SUES OPENAI; BOTH DISCOVER BUSINESS MODEL ACTUALLY NEEDS ONERESEARCHERS CASUALLY MENTION EXTINCTION, INTERNET LOSES MIND
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
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Sunday, September 13, 2026
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Opinion

Commentary, analysis, and hot takes on the VC and M&A world. Someone has to say it.

Opinion

Tech Leaders Discover Surveillance Is Bad, But Only in Canada

A growing coalition warns Bill C-22 will trigger mass exodus—conveniently ignoring where their companies actually operate.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Selectively Principled
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Opinion

Trump's Golden Economy Turns Brass, Even Republicans Notice

When your core Series A investors start asking hard questions about unit economics, it might be time to revisit the pitch deck.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Promissory Note Economics
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VC

Fragrance Startup Raises $2M to Solve Problem Nobody Had

Betaworks and True Ventures bet that centuries-old industry just needed a Series Seed and better branding.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Aromatically Delusional
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VC

Easier to Raise Millions Than Land an Internship, Stanford Study Finds

After four years of investigation, researcher discovers the entire ecosystem is upside down.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Backwards Economics
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Opinion

Easier to Raise Millions Than Land an Internship, Stanford Study Finds

After four years of investigation, researcher discovers the entire ecosystem is upside down.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Backwards Economics
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Unicorn

Bumble Discovers Dating Apps Boring, Considers Becoming Something Else

CEO admits the novelty has worn off while publicly betting the company's future on a pivot only she understands.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Structurally Exhausted
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Opinion

Goldman Admits It's a Factory. Promises AI Won't Fire Anyone.

Wall Street's president describes the bank as a 'human assembly line' while insisting the robots will merely 'restructure' the organization—a masterclass in having your layoffs and denying them too.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Honestly, We're Confused
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Opinion

Goldman Admits It's a Factory. Promises AI Won't Fire Anyone.

Wall Street's president describes the bank as a 'human assembly line' while insisting the robots will merely 'restructure' the organization—a masterclass in having your layoffs and denying them too.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Honestly, We're Confused
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Opinion

Brazil Declares IPO Market Open After One Successful Deal

Bradesco BBI celebrates the resurrection of equity capital markets with a single data point and infinite optimism.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Statistically Miraculous
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Opinion

JPMorgan Discovers $5 Gas While VCs Dream of Free Energy

Wall Street warns of petroleum crisis as venture capital pours billions into solutions that won't arrive in time.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Catastrophically Well-Timed
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D

About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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